Thanksgiving was always a very traditional celebration in my home when I was growing up. I have family in Colorado and Montana, but my immediate family was small and consisted of my Mom, my grandparents and me – an only child. We prepared and ate the same menu each year with no deviation whatsoever. And while I have fond memories of these childhood holiday celebrations, I can remember watching movies that depicted large families, abundant with dysfunction, noise and chaos and thinking how much fun it would be to be part of that kind of celebration.

The nice part about being an adult has been being able to start my own traditions during the holidays, and Thanksgiving is one I most look forward to for a variety of reasons.

I love to cook and bake. My grandmother and mother were and are amazing culinary wizards and I was always welcomed as an apprentice in their kitchens. I used to love making the pumpkin pie with my grandma each year. Even now I can remember standing on a stool next to her, learning how to crack eggs without getting shells into the mix and the feel of the black handled spoon I used each year to stir the pie ingredients. I haven’t made a pie with my grandma in the many years since her death, but having my little girls, standing on stools beside me in the kitchen as we measure out brown sugar and spices, crack eggs, and stir the pumpkin pie mixture, I know my grandma would be proud of the legacy she left behind.

Days before Thanksgiving, my mom and I will sit down to discuss our menu for the day. We still have most of the traditional items on the menu – the ones I remember from my childhood – but each year we add something new or prepare an old standard using a new recipe. Being in the kitchen with my mom is something I have always enjoyed, and each year I am grateful for the time I have with her – the time my girls have with their grandma making memories they, like me, will savor for years to come.

Thanksgiving is no longer a small, quiet celebration in my home – a new tradition that began while I was in graduate school. At the time I had many friends who, like me, were not native to South Carolina. It wasn’t possible for us to afford flights home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so we decided to spend Thanksgiving together. For the last decade I have had upwards of 20 people in my home for a Thanksgiving feast. These friends are all people I consider family, so the day feels complete in a house full of people sans the drama and dysfunction that often exists within the “traditional” family unit.

As much as I enjoy all the festivities of the holidays, there is always a bitter-sweetness about them as well. While I have so many blessings in my life – family, friends, possessions for which I am thankful – I am all the more aware of people who have very little. I will pack up leftovers to send home with my guests and still have enough leftovers to feed my family, but somewhere not far from where I live, there are hungry children and parents who feel helpless. While I am surrounded by laughter and love, I know at the same time there is someone feeling sad and alone. As I am warm in a heated home, another fights against the cold.

Feeling guilty about my blessings, an all too familiar one for me, accomplishes nothing. Thanksgiving, I have learned, is about being thankful for what I have and giving to back to those in need. My family has struggled in this economy along with everyone else, but I give where and when I can. I continue to teach my children the importance of caring for others and stress that there are opportunities for doing so more than once per year. Thanksgiving is more than an annual November holiday – it is a feeling that can be carried around and acted upon on a daily basis.  Here’s wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving – an amazing time for celebration – for family and friends – for giving thanks and giving back.