When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I received an abundance of advice from everyone I knew and strangers that I didn’t know. I bought and read book after book trying to prepare myself for the joys and challenges of motherhood. The truth is no child comes with an operating manual. And anyone who has multiple children can attest to the fact that what works with one will probably fail miserably with the next.
My daughters are now 6 and 4 years old. What I have learned thus far in my journey as a mom is that every day is a learning experience, every experience a teachable moment. Above all else, I have learned that my mother, even though when I was a teenager I thought she couldn’t possibly understand anything, is one of the smartest people I know. She has taught me valuable lessons about life, love and motherhood when I wasn’t even looking.
As a single parent, my mom supported us as a nurse. One of the greatest memories of her revolves around her Sunday night preparations for the Monday morning return to work. Every Sunday night she would polish her nursing shoes until they shone bright white. Her white uniform was always meticulously ironed and her nursing cap was crisp and ready for placement atop her neatly pulled up hair the next morning. Watching her, I learned to take pride in my appearance. Not in terms of beauty. All of her preparations were because she took pride in her job as a nurse and the orderly nature of her appearance would show her patients and co-workers how seriously she took her job.
Nursing has always been a labor of love for my mother. It was her chosen career path and a talent she has been practicing for over 40 years. She has always been a care giver to family and strangers alike. I’ve never met another human being like her – someone who is always willing to give of herself if it will help someone in need. She has taught me that time is the greatest gift one person can give to another. Time is precious, and it can never be bought or repaid. Sometimes all we have to offer someone is our time – time to listen, time to sit silently – and that time can be more valuable than any gift purchased from a store.
Raising me by herself was not always an easy task. Like nursing, I know being my mother was a labor of love. When we didn’t have a car, she took four different buses to get me to daycare and herself to work on time. I can count on one hand the number of sick days my mom ever called in. This model of determination and diligence has taught me that hard work is important and that the easy way around things is not always the wisest choice. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty to accomplish a task, but the completion of that task is worth every ounce of effort.
As I look back on the last 30 plus years I can say with absolute certainty and honesty that there has not been one day in my life that my mom has not told me that she loves me or that she is proud of me. And that love has always been without condition. No matter what has happened in my life, I always knew that I could depend on my mom and that I would always be loved by her regardless of poor choices I might make, hurtful things I might say, thoughtless behaviors I might act out.
Now that I am a mom, I do not let one single day go by without hugging my girls, kissing them and telling them how much I love them, how proud I am of their accomplishments, how special and amazing I think they are, how they make me laugh, how they inspire me to be the best version of myself possible. I know that I am blessed every time I look into my daughters’ big brown eyes and I am overwhelmed with love. As a daughter, who is also a Mom, I never want a day to go by without telling my Mom how much I love her, respect her, value her and appreciate her for giving me the gift of being my mom.
Happy Mother’s Day.
