"'This Year's Love'"

I wish that I possessed a knowledgeable vocabulary or deeper understand of music such that I could talk about it in an intellectual way as opposed to simply saying  ‘I really like that song.’ I’ve always been an avid music fan, and if it had been possible for me to memorize chemical or algebraic equations the way I have managed to remember song lyrics over the years, I would be a freakin’ genius.

Seriously. It would be amazing if there were a way to look at my brain memory the same way I can pull up the pie diagrams that display the way my computer memory is allotted among various programs. I would love to know how much of my grey matter contains song lyrics compared with, say, geometry. I imagine the results would be sadly astounding.

We all have favorite songs that become part of our life sound tracks. Songs that, regardless of how much time has passed or how much we might grow and evolve, we will always love. Music, I believe, becomes ingrained in our sensory memories – they become part of us and who we are. There are pieces of music I love because of the lyrics and because of the instrumental sounds. I love voices, especially those with that earthy, scratchy, gravely kind of tone.

People who know me would tell you that I love Dave Matthews. He would be an example of the many ways I love music. There is something about the quality of his voice that resonates with me. Add to this the lyrics – the longing of his love songs – the multitude of instruments like flute, saxophone, violin (or fiddle?), guitar, drums … it is an amazing explosion of sounds and words that “get” me.

Running through my mind the last couple of days has been David Gray’s “This Year’s Love.” The first time I heard this song I was in graduate school – snuggled into my bed watching Felicity. The scene for which this song was the back ground took place in winter time New York. I recall a couple, who had struggled earlier in the episode, embracing as this song echoed in the back ground.

As soon as I heard the song, I loved it.

I wish there were some way that I could write about it in a way that would convey how it makes me feel, but I think I lack the tools and capability to be able to do so.

The song is simple – piano and Gray’s voice. What makes it so powerful is the timing – the pauses between words – the emotional ache in his voice as he sings. When I hear it, I can feel exactly what he is describing. Does that make sense?

This year’s love had better last
Heaven knows it’s high time
I’ve been waiting
On my own
Too long

Then piano….

When you hold me

Like you do
Feel so right
Ah now
Start to for-get
How my heart
gets
torn
when that hurt
gets thrown
feelin’
like you
can’t go on

Turning circles

when time again
It cuts like a knife
oh yeah
If you love me
got to know
 for sure

Piano....

Cos it takes something

more this time
Than sweet, sweet lies
ah now
Before I
open
up my
arms
and fall
Losing all
control
Every dream
inside
my soul

And when you kiss me
On that

Midnight
street
Sweep me
off my feet
Singing
ain't this life
so sweet
So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

The way I’ve broken this up is the way it sounds in my mind – where the pauses are between words – the way the emphasis sounds. Again, there is something about the longing ache in Gray’s voice. It captures a feeling that I have felt before at times in my life. In various relationships.

I guess it is the longing that I love. The sense of urgency. I have always wanted someone to feel that ache for me – the longing to be near – to know that love is real and that it isn’t going anywhere.

It should also come as no surprise that, hopeless romantic that I am, I am in love with the idea of being swept off my feet. I can imagine literally being picked up, held and kissed in a way that makes me breathless – shoots my heart rate through the roof such that, in any other context, I would be terrified I was having a heart attack.

Really, I have not done this song justice. I know. I’m certain there are technical terms, musical language, that would more accurately convey what Gray does as a singer that causes listeners, like me, to have such a visceral response to the music. If I were compiling a sound track for my life, “This Year’s Love” would definitely be on the list.