Showing posts with label Optimism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Optimism. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Life is What You Make It

When I picked Emerson and Ella up from their first day at Y camp yesterday, my first question, of course, was how’d you like it? Ella was the more excited of the two, which was unexpected considering our tearful morning good-bye. She announced that she had three new friends named Madison and another friend whose name she never quite figured out.
Em, who already had friends in her age group, and whom I assumed would be most excited, said it was hot and she had to walk. A lot. All in the whiney, yet terribly bored tone of a seven-going-on-thirteen-year-old girl.
Based on her response, you’d of thought we enrolled Emerson in some outward bound wilderness program for oppositionally defiant teens that are given some flint, fishing line and a sleeping bag and told to rough it out in the wilderness and decide which is worse: home life or trying to fend off grizzly bears in the darkness of night.
As an elementary aged child, I spent my summers at Muss Park – one of the many in Miami Beach’s parks and recreation division. The only air-condition at Muss park was a wall unit in the coaches’’ office where our lunches were kept in refrigerators and we campers were prohibited from lingering for any length of time unless there was some life-threatening circumstance requiring adult supervision.
I loved Muss Park and the friends I would reconnect with only during the dog-days of summer. Of course I was hot. We played outside in the heat of Miami’s summers all day long. We had one shelter in the center of camp equipped with multi-colored picnic tables and water fountains, but there weren’t fans or air conditioning.
Our camp counselors provided us with organized games like kick ball, dodge ball and jumping rope contests. We created all sorts of arts and crafts with way too much Elmer’s glue, beads, feathers and paint. Mostly, we invented our own games to play. We would sneak water from the drinking fountains so we could make mud pies or construct dirt villages for neighboring lizards and tickle bugs.
When my mom picked me up from camp in the afternoons, she always had a towel to protect her car seat from my filth. Pig Pen from Peanuts had nothing on this girl! My dirt and metallic smelling sweat were badges of honor I wore with the pride of all I had accomplished that day. After all, when you’re a little kid, playing is your job in the summertime.
I left Emerson in tears this morning. As a mother, this always makes me feel about two feet tall. I never want my children to be unhappy – especially when there is something I can do to prevent it.
At the same time, however, I want Em and Ella to experience what it should be like to be children – to play out of doors without having to fear some stranger swooping down and scooping them out of their own front years.
To laugh and giggle without having to worry about being disruptive.
To learn about life through controlled experiences like making new friends, going on field trips, following rules, team work, playing well with others, coming to the realization that the world does not revolve around them completely and totally, and that even when situations are not ideal, it is how we choose to see them and respond to them that ultimately define our successes or failures in life.
Helping Em get ready for her second day of camp this morning, I was struck with the realization that I am more like my mom than I ever imagined. That epiphany made me smile. As I sat on the corner of her bed, I asked Em if she had ever heard the saying that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Her response, of course, was I don’t like lemonade.
I took a God-grant-me-the-serenity kind of breath I needed and continued: Em, Grandma taught me this a long time ago. Sometimes she still has to remind me. You have complete control over whether or not camp is fun this summer. If you decide it isn’t going to be fun, then guess what? It isn’t going to be fun. If, however, you decide that you are going to have the most fun possible at camp, then guess what? This is going to be the best summer camp experience ever!
Life is what we choose to make of it. Yes. Sometimes when we least expect it we are pummeled with a crop of lemons when what we really wanted was an ice-cold pitcher of sweet peach tea. It is what we decide to do with the lemons that matters. 

Monday, November 29, 2010

Half-Full

Half-Full. I’m Positive!
I love books, literature, stories and words. Jesus used parables to teach people about morality and virtue; literature is no different. Because I have always been passionate about reading and because I believe there is so much to be gained from immersion in books, I have tried to help my daughters cultivate a love for books.
Over the last few weeks we have been reading The Secret Garden before bedtime.  There are large portions of the novel that I have forgotten since the first time I read it. Reading it as an adult, capable of more analytical thinking, has made a beautiful story all the more amazing because of the virtues espoused on every page. It is ironic how changes I have been attempting in my own life coincide perfectly with the blossoming of the characters and the garden in this magical story.
I have been known to get into some major funks and about 99.9% of the time, they were all of my own creation. Yes, I’ve had some circumstantial stuff – beyond my control – that has contributed to me feeling blue, but those things were exacerbated by my pessimism.
About a month ago, during one of my bouts of melancholy, a very dear friend of mine pointed out the fact that I wasted a great deal of time and energy being negative. Me, negative? I always used to think of myself not as a pessimist, but as a realist. Those words, however, struck me with such force that I had an epiphany and knew it was time to make some changes in my thinking and my life.
After years of listening to my well-intentioned mother, badgering me to read The Power of Positive Thinking, I finally picked up the dusty paperback and read it. The funny thing is, as much as I adore books and believe in their ability to impact personal and social change, I did not believe that this particular book was going to change my life and I could not have been more mistaken.
Reading The Secret Garden with my girls is further driving the point home. If you’ve never read either of these books, I highly recommend the read – especially if you have a tendency toward negative thinking. The human mind is like a garden. It must be cared for and tended to or it will wither or be overrun with weeds. “Two things cannot be in one place. Where you tend a rose, a thistle cannot grow.”
I cannot begin to explain how amazing I feel as a result of simply making an effort to change the way I think. I used to tell people that being me was exhausting – and it was! I’ve also always said that I am a work in progress, and for the first time in a long time I can honestly say that I am enjoying the new ways I have decided to shape and mold my life. My friend, I cannot thank you enough for your candor.
Roses or thistles? The choice is yours. Pour yourself a half-full glass of optimism. It is positively refreshing!